I feel like shit

The wedding is over.  It was everything I had hoped for and looked amazing.  All of the countless hours agonizing over every detail and making every flower, decoration every piece of lace, burlap and tulle totally worth it.  Every hour spent running and every drop of sweat can't compete with how amazing I felt and looked that day.  I've heard women talk about it and often have been skeptical but it really was one of the best days of my life.

 I wish I could remember the vows that Joe read to me. Everything from that day was a blur.  I wondered as I wrote mine for him what he would say.  Are there really that many good things he could say about me?  Am I really worth spending the rest of his life with?  What if he decides as he's writing it that I kinda suck?  I'm not super affectionate, I'm kinda selfish and I bitch a lot.  Much to my relief he didn't use any of those in his vows.  It was a pretty kick ass day even though it was cold as shit.

It really has started me thinking that I really am a pretty grumpy person.  I don't know if I've always been that way or if it just has started. I need to lighten up and really try to be a "nicer" or "better" person.  I don't think that I really have it in me to ditch the cynical sarcasm that I'm known for but I am going to try to laugh more, love more and worry and bitch less.

I not only feel emotionally crappy (not so much that it's a hindrance) but I  feel physically crappy as well.  For the last 5 days I've not really watched what I've eaten.  I've consumed wedding cake, fried foods, beer, sugar, pasta, garlic bread, bread in general.  I will say that it hasn't been in HUGE quantities and I've been fairly sensible but I feel like shit.  My body is so confused about WTF is going on.  I've had a headache, I'm tired and I've had heartburn for days. Considering how hard I had to work to shed the excess pounds I'd gained over the summer and the way my body feels it's not even worth eating the "treats".  SOOOO I'm going to use this life lesson and get back on the wagon and start eating like I  know I SHOULD eat because no one wants to feel like shit.