Hypocritical rant in 3....2....1

As a teenager and a twenty something I did a lot of stupid shit.  Even to this day sometimes I might not make the best choices.  It's all part of life IMO. One thing I did learn is that the older you get (typically) the more educated you are on certain aspects of life.  That's the way it is meant to be otherwise we would all be born knowing everything we need to know.  I know that not everyone will appreciate my life experiences or advice.  I'm not sure why though because OBVIOUSLY I know everything.  Clearly, I do not.

I typically don't participate in any type of forum discussions online for many reasons.  First no one is ever going to agree.  Second you have many different types of people from different backgrounds at different stages in their lives and different maturity levels.  Even if your "opinions" are backed up by facts or just being stated someone is going to flame your ass.  Believe it because it happened!

I recently "let" myself get dragged into a conversation, and I use that term loosely, in a thread about tanning beds.  I really threw myself into the conversation fully knowing that it would cause issue.  I must have been feeling confrontational that day.  I know, really?  Yes. I swear there is a point to this that IS health related.  The end result was me being called an idiot.  Probably not the first time that's happened. 

Living in Ohio as spring approaches everyone rushes out to get their glorious orange glow of fake tan. It's almost like a competition to see who can get the darkest and look the LEAST natural.   As a younger individual I spent my fair share of time in the tanning beds.   Some people like to have a tan for summer - I get it.  Until a few years ago I would sunbathe.  Last year I was pretty brown from vacation and I use sunscreen EVERY DAY but my skin tone tans easily.  I've learned with age that this probably isn't the best health choice to make.  As a 35 year old adult you can now see the damage on my face from those decisions.  My freckles are larger and more pronounced, I have a spot on my forehead that is sun damaged and when I get really tan it's darker than the rest of my face.  My life choices have taken a toll on my overall health and appearance.  Smoking, drinking, being sedentary, not eating right.... all of the above.  Some of you will argue to death that it's my genetics and they have tanned for years and have no damage or their family member has smoked for years an no one has cancer.  I call bull shit.  At this point in my life it's just not a chance I want to take.

With all of the dumb shit in life that COULD be bad for us or MIGHT be bad for us why would you want to subject yourself to something that WILL be bad for you?  It ranks right up there with smoking for me.  I'm not saying that EVERYONE who tans will get cancer or everyone who smokes WILL get cancer.  I won't get on that rant.  As an ex smoker you know I'm the biggest bitch about smoking. 

The moral of the story is we should TRY to take care of ourselves while we can.  It seems like the majority of the population is overweight or obese, on a medication, a smoker or has some health issue. Maybe I'm the one behind the times but it seems like we are all on our way to being the characters from the cartoon Wall-E.   I wish I could rewind life and have a do over for some things but it can't happen.

Do you tan?  Don't worry I won't call you an idiot I just want to hear your thoughts on it and why you do or don't use tanning beds.

Let the flaming begin... I'm prepared for it being the idiot that I am. :)

Exercise equipment

You don't necessarily need a gym membership or expensive equipment to live healthier.   I workout in my bedroom in a 12' x 5' area that I've cleared out.  That required moving the bed against the wall and the dressers as well.  We do what we need to do.  We recently got hardwood floors instead of carpet in the bedroom which has proven to be a bit difficult because my shoes tend to slip. 

The majority of my equipment came from a big box store and I have had most of it for a couple years.   I think that I've spent a less than $200 on all of it.  I've lost 42lbs just using these items.

10lb kettle bell  $15
3lb hand weights  $11
5lb hand weighs  $15
10lb hand weights $23

My well worn yoga mat. $30

I need to invest in a new one but this one was fairly expensive (by my standards) and it still works just fine.  I like it better than regular mats because it is thicker and my knees and elbows don't grind into the ground when I'm doing Pilates or yoga. I also use this when I am doing any high impact activity such as high knees or jumping jacks because it's easier on my joints.

Foam roller - $30

I rarely use this anymore but it does come in handy when trying to work out some of your tight muscles.  I used it when I was getting shin splints.  They make several different kinds.  This one has a flat surface as that was my preference.  There are "bumpy" surfaced ones but they left bruises on my body.  There are tons of beneficial uses for this thing.  I need to start using it.

Physio ball - $15-$20

This thing is great.  I actually own 2 of them but I think I've lent one to someone and it's not been returned.  It works your core and helps with balance.  I use it when I'm doing upper body workouts. I used to watch tv while sitting on it also.

My iPad and www.fitnessblender.com.  I use this website SOLELY to workout from.  Every lb I've lost as a result of working out came from this site.  It's FREE!

Obviously this isn't included in my total cost.  This is an invaluable tool for me.  I can put it to good use instead of just sitting in front of the tv and crushing candy.  You can use your computer, smart phone, tablet - whatever resource you have to find the videos.

This is the whole area.  That is my bed in the lower left hand corner.  It's nothing fancy.  I know that most of you have at least this much space and CAN DO IT.  Just start.  5 minutes.  Do a warm up routine.  Everyone has 10 minutes of a day that they can devote to themselves. Once you carve out that 10 minutes you'll find that the feeling you get from accomplishing it is amazing. You will find another 10 to do it.  It all adds up!


This is the photo that really made me step back and realize I needed to change something.

 I have never EVER shown this picture. 








This is me after my 1st 5k last year. I BARELY did it and it all started with just moving one day.  You just have to do it!  I've lost about 20lbs since this time. I still have a way to go but I just keep moving.  It's a never ending battle. Healthy is a lifetime not a diet.

 

I don't know what to eat. Help!

I've had several people ask me what I put on a menu for a week.  I’m listing below what my family will be eating this week. I’ve also included the links to the recipes and tips that you might need to know.

In our house typically Monday is meatless.  This week since I made the avocado chicken salad it needs to be eaten so that it won’t be wasted so  I’ve altered it for this week. 

Eggs are a huge staple in our house so you’ll notice that I eat the mostly the same things for breakfast each day.  Keep in mind that this is only what I DO.  I’m not saying this will work for you or anyone else nor did I learn it from a dietician. It’s just what I eat.

I use the internet to its full power.  I’m not a super creative person when it comes to creating meals and I’m not a trained chef.  I can, however, cook.   I use these sites to plan my meals or to gain inspiration from them.  I have linked them to give credit to the original creator of the recipes.

Monday

B: Private section (Kroger) Amber Honey Yogurt

L  Chicken avocado salad sandwich ( on Sara Lee 45 calorie multi grain bread)
D:  Broccoli alfredo w/ salad and garlic bread

Tuesday:

B: Cake batter protein smoothie.  These will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!  YUM
L:  Taco salad – I used leftover 96% Laura’s Lean ground beef from last week’s tacos. Just make sure you aren’t loading it down with lots of cheese and sour cream.  PORTION PORTION PORTION
D: Grilled chicken with mushroom and gruyere cheese quesadillas and an undetermined side
 

Wednesday:

B: 3 egg whites, 1 tsp bacon bits, 1 T of shredded parmesan cheese w/ 1 slice of Sara Lee toast w/ sugar free strawberry preserves
L:  Yogurt w/ fruit
D: Slow cooker venison roast French dip sandwiches  w/ roasted veggies – The recipe does not use venison but we have that on hand and it’s much leaner.  You can use whatever you choose
 

Thursday

B:  Cheesecake protein smoothie – same as Cake batter recipe above but substitute sugar free cheesecake pudding mix instead of vanilla.
L:  Chicken (I grilled extra on Tuesday so I could eat it though the week) wrap. Make sure you are getting whole grain or wheat wraps.  Flour is not your friend.
D: Slow cooker picadillo with tostones and rice

 

Friday:

B: 3 egg whites, 1 tsp bacon bits, 1 T of shredded parmesan cheese w/ 1 slice of Sara Lee toast w/ sugar free strawberry preserves

L: Romaine lettuce salad with veggies and grilled chicken
D: Homemade pizza

 

Saturday and Sundays are typically a crap shoot.  We either end up eating out or eating leftovers or whatever I can scrounge together from what is in the fridge and pantry. 

 

Hope this helps. 

"What do you eat?"

Over the last year I've learned many things about the foods and products that I put into my body. I have tried MANY different types of foods and cooking methods.  I feel like I have had many successes and some failures along the way (Indian quesadillas and the squash soup I tried to make last night -YUCK) .  While the amount of weight I have lost is not so dramatic that I have tons of people asking me, it is noticeably significant.  Many people have asked how I've done it but the biggest question I get is what do I eat?

One of the most annoying things that I've come across is when people ask me do I even eat?  I'm not sure why this is an acceptable thing to say to someone who clearly isn't starving.  I am currently still overweight.  Yes, I eat.  Frequently. I eat 5 to 6 times a day.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2 small snack in between. The snacks can consists of anything from serving of string cheese, a handful of almonds, a serving of whole grain crackers to an apple, banana, or hummus.  I only need something SMALL to tide me over until the next meal.  Please keep in mind this is just what has worked for me.  Everyone will be different and I am not a health care professional. So.... here are the basic rules that I live by when it comes to food and eating.  If anyone is interested in getting a sample menu with links to the recipes I have that too. 

I'm not a on a "diet".  It's a lifestyle change.  I know, I know.  Cliché.  It's really true.  That moment that you realize that the fast food or microwaved meal you are eating tastes like absolute SHIT compared to something that you can make in a short about of time is glorious!  The majority of food that you would consume in a restaurant if you really looked at it's nutritional value would make you puke.   The portion sizes are also double or triple what you should actually be eating!  When I have to work out, sweat pouring, almost throwing up from pushing myself so hard to make progress to burn 300 calories in 1/2 hour only to negate it by eating HALF a burger at a sit down restaurant..... no thank you.

Here is my rule for restaurant food:  PREPARE.  My younger sister has really guided me through a lot of my eating neuroses when it comes to food.  One thing that she told me was to EARN my splurges and don't do penance workouts after you've eaten.  Gotta pay the piper FIRST.  Before you go out check online for the nutritional values for where ever you are going.  If you're a calorie counter, a Weight Watchers person or whatever your method is there are TONS of websites out there for you to find out what you are putting in your body before you put it there.  I could tell you just about everything that I would have on a "safe list" for any given restaurant in my city.  Olive Garden, Buffalo Wild Wings, Red Lobster..... I know what I can eat with good conscious and what I should stay away from.  I could make you a list, from memory with the nutritional value of those items if you really want.

At home foods: PPP


PLAN.  Make a menu!  DO IT.  It takes time.  You have many things to factor in.  What will my family eat?  You don't want to leave them out of your healthy changes because it will make it easier to stick if everyone enjoys what you are cooking.  What can my family afford to spend?  How much time do I have to prepare?  What type of "diet" do I want to follow?  Do your research, save webpages of sites that you like that have recipes.  Don't get discouraged if you find that initially you are having to buy things you don't keep on hand like spices or other random things.  That will come in time after you kind of get down what you like to eat.  I love www.skinnytaste.com and www.cookinglight.com.  There are tons of recipes on there that are classic things that have been made healthier.  If you have something that you LOVE and want me to help you make it healthier let me know and I'm sure I either know of a recipe or can help you make one.

PORTION.  Get a scale.  Weigh your food.  I  know it's super annoying and no one wants to do it but in my experience IT'S NECESSARY.  Chances are you are eating too much and don't realize it.  Try not to choose reduced fat items just for the fact that they are reduced fat and you can eat more of them. If you really want something just eat a smaller portion of the REAL full fat version.  After a while your body will readjust and you won't require as much food to satisfy you.  If you find yourself hungry choose a GOOD SNACK which leads me to my next P.

PRODUCE.  Produce is your friend and it should be your BFF.  The majority of my grocery spending is on produce.  For a family of 3 I spend approximately $100 a week on groceries.  90% of the time I am eating food that I made, that grew from the ground and is fresh.  The other 10% could be restaurant food or something that I didn't make like pastas, taco shells (I tried to make those myself - YUCK).  Peppers, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, strawberries, bananas, lettuce, avocados, carrots, apples, lemons, limes... you get the point.  Buy fresh food.  It's just better for you. 

If this helps you then great!  If it doesn't then eventually you will find something that does.  Remember it is not an overnight fix.  It takes time and trial and error.  Don't get discouraged.  I'm 2 years in and still haven't made it to my goal because I'm human and sometimes I just want a 1000 calorie cheeseburger.  Just remember that 1 bad meal won't ruin all of your progress just like 1 good meal won't make any.  You can't out exercise a bad diet and really... who wants to?

Wait... I'm in my 30's?  When did that happen?

I know this has probably been written by every other thirty something writer but WHEN did 30 sneak up on me?  I remember being a child and waiting, agonizing over the years until I would be able to drive a car or move out of my parents house.  Long gone are those days. The time has came and went in the blink of an eye just like my mother warned me it would. I look back and wonder what I've really accomplished in my 35 years of life.

I tell my son all the time that if he really wants to miss out on the greatest years of his life to make some children in his twenties.  Some people might think this is not the best parenting advice but I beg to disagree. I personally have no desire to be a grandparent in my thirties or really ever. Before the hating starts hear me out.  Your twenties are supposed to be full of exploring, learning, growing and finding out who you are and what you want our of life, yourself and a partner if you choose to have one.  I still firmly believe that twenty somethings do not have the maturity to really know who they are and what they want out of life. You can not successfully raise a child when you don't even know who you are and what you stand for. Stop getting married after 6 months.  It probably will not work out. I can't even commit to a pair of shoes let alone another human for the rest of my life!  I'm allowed to say that because I lived it.

Let's take a moment to reflect on my twenties.  This blog would not be long enough to cover all of the ridiculous choices I made.  Thank God I didn't marry everyone I thought I loved as I would be world record holder for the most divorces to the biggest losers.  I did date some good guys.  One person told me that his family said I just wasn't marriage material.  WHAT?  I didn't even know what that meant.  I knew it really hurt my feelings.  I was lacking in direction, self control and mostly self esteem.  I just admitted that.  I could get all Dr. Phil and shit and try to pinpoint it  back to some issues with childhood or parenting but I won't point fingers.  I made those choices and I live with them.  I made some friends and sadly I lost some friends due to my choices.  I drank a lot and I wish I would have been a better parent to my son during the first years of his life.  Water under the bridge, right?

As a thirty something now people in their twenties annoy the shit out of me.  Needy women whose sole goal in life is to find the love of their life and focusing on nothing else.  Now I realize this is a very vague generalization but it's my opinion.  Take it or leave it.  I really couldn't care less. They complain about how old they look and wrinkles.  REALLY BITCH? Shut up before I get naked and scar you for the rest of your life.  This is what you have to look forward to in your 30's. Women who post their undying  love for someone they met last week on social media.  Next week dragging themselves back into the harsh reality that it just wasn't meant to be followed by posting something vaguely emo and attention seeking about being sad. If you let it go and it comes back it must be yours to keep.  I'm pretty sure that probably means that they realize that you have no self esteem and a job and will probably continue to pay their cell phone bill if they come back to you. You can't polish a turd.  Those same women who proclaim that chivalry is dead and ask where are all the good guys.  SHUT UP, no really please shut up.  Let's put on our big girl panties and get all Sex and the City and woman up.  Maybe you aren't "marriage material", yet.  You claim to hate drama but cause it publicly at every turn.  Live for you and stop trying to find a man to make you happy.  Men this could apply to you as well.  Ahhh... it's like reading a chapter from the book of my life.  Depressing.  Regardless I hate you now twenty somethings.

Here's what you have to look forward to at some point in your thirties.  The weight from one place on your body shifts to another where it doesn't' belong.  Where in the FUCK did all this gray hair come from? It's multiplying like rabbits and I'm able to do nothing but cry in front of the mirror while realizing how wrinkly and tired my eyes look when I cry. Sigh.   I really can't color it fast enough especially with dark hair.  I used to roll my eyes at women who obsessed with staying out of the sun and using moisturizer on their faces.  I didn't need that, I was young!  Well guess what? Now it takes me an extra 5 to 10 minutes just to prep my face to put on the makeup.  Exfoliate, toner, moisturizer, corrector and I've not even started on the meat of the operation yet.  I  have to have a college degree and a high paying job to afford the expensive ass moisturizer and tighteners that I need to put on my face to compete with my annoying 20 year old counterparts.

Lastly we're approaching middle age. MIDDLE AGE?  When did this happen????  I'm thinking about retirement, savings, IRA's, health care plans, what wine to drink with dinner.  WHO AM I?  What happened to all of the amazing plans I had in my 20's?  That's right..... I wasted those years trying to find a man to make me happy and I planned almost nothing else.  Turns out I just needed to find out who I was and make myself happy instead of trying to find someone else to do it for me.  Luckily as a thirty something I think I have it all figured out, maybe.

THE "S" word:  Skinny

These six letters have caused me so much grief though out my life. If you are like me, and a large percentage of the United States is, you are overweight. Whether you are 12 or 90 being overweight sucks, hard. Your "thin" friends complain about how fat they are and it takes every ounce of strength to not shove a double bacon cheeseburger down their throats even though you know that they have their own issues to deal with. Everyone tells you that you have a "pretty face". The thought of having to wear a bathing suit in public is almost enough to make you jump off a cliff. Skinny is TOXIC.

I am a 34 year old regular person living a regular life in rural Ohio. I'm engaged to be married later this year and I have a wonderful 16 year old son. I'm probably not grammatically correct and I'm OK with that. I'm brutally honest and I curse like a sailor. Cursing is the once vice (besides overeating) that I just haven't been able to give up. My house is often a mess despite the absence of small children, if only I had them to blame. I have battled with my weight and eating healthy since the birth of my son in 1998. Yep you read that correctly. I'm still whining about the 65 pounds I gained during pregnancy 16 years ago. GET OVER IT, right?

I hate, no I abhor the word skinny. Every time I hear a woman use the word skinny I want to throat punch her. However, I am the woman I hate. Thank goodness I can't throat punch myself. I'm the woman who just can't be happy with how I look regardless of how much weight I lose. I hold myself to impossible standards. I pretend like I don't mind that I can eat an entire bag of chips in a single sitting knowing full well that I'll be crying about it the next morning. Nothing fits and even my stretch pants are crying out for me to just STOP IT. I can't achieve the desired "thinness". I wonder why?

This is my journey. You're coming in halfway through. I'm hoping that this will help me realize that I don't need to be "skinny" or "thin". Those of you who have never had to battle any addiction, and food IS an addiction, count yourselves lucky. NO I'm not saying that you bitches have no issues and your life is perfect. I'm just saying that when my daily inner struggle starting when I open my eyes in the morning is what can I eat and when, that's a problem.
 

My name is Jenn and I am addicted to food.

I realized that 2 years ago if I didn't change something in my life that I was going to live a craptastic, overweight, miserable life. I was probably going to succumb to the same health issues that plagues a lot of my family. Diabetes. Heart disease. Cancer. I stopped smoking, stopped drinking and started working out, HARDCORE. No surprise that I burnt out.

Over the last 2 years I've lost approximately 40 pounds (60 if you count the 20 I've gained and re lost - loser). I have SLOWLY learned that there is no quick fix for health.  Moderation in portions, choosing GOOD CLEAN things to put into my body and exercising. I've come to love (yeah right) the workouts. I love the feeling of accomplishment that I get when it's over.
 

I hope that you will stop back often to read about my rants, my struggles, my successes and my thoughts about anything that comes to mind. I also hope that I can have the happy ending and realize that I am eating to live not living to eat.