Thoughtful Thursday

My sister and I used to email each other when I wasn't able to chat with her.  It was always a competition to see who could come up with the most interesting adjective to describe our day using the first letter of whatever day of the week it was. It can get tricky to be creative.... Today was thoughtful Thursday.

We discussed (I did anyway, I think she just read what I said) some pretty deep shit about life and how it starts and when it ends and everything in between.  When you really stop and think  about it (assuming you aren't a total fuckstick and have some comprehension of your surroundings) we live in a pretty amazing and complex place.  We ARE amazing and complex. I personally don't know how it all started or how it will end.  No one does (please don't cite the Bible... I know what all that says) and in reality I don't think it matters. I think RIGHT NOW is what matters.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life and why we do the things we do. I mostly obsess about health and eating but then when I stop to think about it I wonder, is it all worth it?  Tomorrow might life might be taken from me and was depriving myself of a double cheeseburger really worth it?

I know  how quickly your life can change. I watched my best friend go through it with the loss of her teenage son.  At that time it put into perspective how the things in life REALLY matter and focusing on shit that doesn't matter in the end probably isn't worth it.  No I'm not relating the loss of a life to my giving up a deep fried ho ho or the fact that my son wants to drill holes in a new car.. I'm just saying that I think every once in a while we need to just stop and be happy for what we have, what we are and what we are given and realize that being happy is more important than being unhappy about dumb shit.

I always think that I need a path, a goal, an end point but in reality.... I don't.  I need to stop being so unhappy with everything including myself and just enjoy the moments that I have while I have them.  I don't think it matters if I have an extra 10 or 20lbs I should be able to enjoy things and not be so critical.   What if your goal is to be happy?  To laugh? To enjoy the sunshine?  At the end of all of it when we are dust the one with the most money doesn't win.   The thinnest one doesn't get a special prize.  None of those things matter in the grand scheme of things.  LIFE MATTERS.  People matter.

So for today I will go home, I will eat wings with my family and friends and maybe go for a run because I want to and not because I feel like I need to look good or lose weight.