"F you country cooking"

I personally like country cooking...sometimes.  It really contains too much butter and grease which at this point makes my stomach upset.  It's all like "WTF is that???  We don't know so let's just get it out of your body as fast as possible".  FYI  It takes the elevator to the basement at lightning speed if you know what I mean.

I wish I could classify the food that my parents fed me growing up.  It might be considered country.  I don't remember too many meals that we ate.  I do remember being forced to eat lima beans, creamed spinach, johnny marzetti (slumgolia?) mackerel patties... and Center Pizza.  I can still get down with the BEST pizza on the face of the planet.. EVER.  (It also makes me sick)

Every morning I'm bombarded by what my sister calls "redneck frekkin country pot luck recipes".  You know what I'm talking about.  The recipes where everything comes from a can, has heavy whipping cream, bacon and cheese in it along with enough calories and sodium for 2 days.  THOSE recipes. At this point in my culinary evolution I don't even think they taste that good.  I, for one, don't enjoy all my food the same texture, thrown together and baked in a casserole dish.  Maybe it's because I really enjoy the experience of cooking. It could also be that I really just watch too much Cooking Channel.  I make a mess, get out the 300 spices that I have in my cabinet and make food magic happen. That shit IS magical.  To have someone eat your food and love it feels great.

Now I'm not bashing my country friends, I'm country. I'm simply saying that your moms recipes and your grandmas recipes are great.... in moderation.  Even Paula Dean learned the error of her ways and her own son has a show devoted SOLELY to fixing the butter and fat laden recipes of his mother into healthier versions.  It's 2014. There is NO excuse for eating like shit.  The internet is a great tool for finding things that you like and being accountable for what you are eating.  I know you thought it was only for Candy crushing or whatever everyone is into now but it's not.

The conversation got struck up about cooking and how my sister and I can take the most complex twelve step, 14 ingredient recipe and have it be amazing but can't manage to make a casserole that your friends RAVED about not look like dog food.  That's almost a quote.  The reason is that I don't get excited about those things.  I get excited when I can make food taste good WITHOUT fat and added shit I don't need.  Make friends with your spices friends because they need to be part of your arsenal when it comes to cooking.  If you only have table salt - which should be ILLEGAL- and pepper you might have a problem.

 I know, I know you REALLY need to try the tatertot casserole... NO YOU DON'T.  Eat a fucking potato instead and throw in some cruciferous veggies while you are at it.  Those fuckers are tasty if you cook them right.......