Food porn

You know what I'm talking about.  I LOVE social media as much as all of you, that's why you are here now.  I have something that I've noticed that really has started to grate on my nerves a bit.  Not enough that it's an unfriendable offense, but something that I think needs to be addressed.   All of the photos and recipes that I see in all of your Facebook feeds of baked cakes, cookies, cheesy casseroles, pies and breads that you are liking and sharing.  STOP IT.  You know which of you are guilty of this and it's not just one.

I have been known to tell people to surround themselves with good people because you are the company you keep.  The same goes with food.  If you surround yourself with good food..... you will eat it.  Looking at the pictures of the Butterfinger pie that contains enough calories for the entire day will not help you be healthy and it won't help me either.  It will just make you want Butterfinger and pie which is ok in moderation but often we are not eating responsibly. Why can't we just go back to eating an Butterfinger?  We need to supersize it into an entire pie because that is the American way.... eat more, spend more, weigh more.

But Jenn, you say, I'm not trying to be healthy.  Ok I get that.  Not everyone is a neurotic food freak like me but I am tired of seeing them in my news feed.  I know my battle isn't your problem and no I'm not trying to push my agendas on you, I'm simply trying to help change your way of thinking.  If you don't like it you can stop reading now. I'm going to start saying "Eat responsibly" since I've stopped drinking and smoking.  You are LITERALLY killing yourself with food. 

Look at the ingredients that are on the labels.  If you don't have labels on your food then you are probably ok because that means it's something fresh.  Research the chemicals that are being put into packaged foods and on some of your fresh foods.  The cancers and other health issues they cause are sickening.... literally.   I picked up something the other day, A YOGA MAT,  just to look at it and the warning label said something about contains a chemical that has been known in California to cause cancer.  WHAT??  Why is it on the shelf?

Eating healthy and liking it often takes time.  When I first started living on my own at 18 I didn't now how to cook and I hated everything.  Clear up into my LATE 20's I wouldn't touch a pepper, onion, lettuce, spices, many condiments, spinach... all of the things that make food taste great.  My mom was not, in my opinion, the best cook.  She had a very old school approach to making food.  Bland, boiled, unseasoned... ick.  mackerel patties, tuna noodle casserole were the bane of my existence.  As an adult I've come to realize that I'm freaking ALLERGIC to fish.  She would boil brussels sprouts and spinach.  DISGUSTING.  No wonder when I was on my own I ONLY wanted to eat junk food.   I had SO many food rules and they were all ridiculous.  I guess now I have new food rules but in a more healthy, balanced sort of way.   The more you see it and taste it.... the easier it is to break the bad habits and replace them with new good one. 

For me seeing a picture of apple pie vs. a super vibrant plate of fruit or greens wins over any day.  It wasn't always like that but  and some days it's a struggle but the more I remove it from my life the less I miss it.  If it's not in my house I won't eat it.  If I'm not constantly looking at it I won't crave it.  Any time you see something that you like google how to make it healthier.  That doesn't mean it will be HEALTHY it just means that there might be ways to make it better for you... and just eat the Butterfinger and don't make the whole pie.  You'll thank me for it later. 

Let me know.... am on the mark here or way off? 

Life is too short to eat shitty food.

I draw inspiration from other people.  That's what inspires me.  Whether its a conversation I've had with them directly, something I've overheard or something that I've seen them post.  You might read these and think - Hmm... she is probably talking about me. You are probably right.  Unless you are a total dumb ass you probably have nothing to worry about.  I'll not single you out or quote you directly but know that I'm an observant person and some day I might be writing about something you've said, directly or indirectly.

I over think damn near every aspect of my life.  It's a habit that I need to give up for Lent, although I don't typically conform to religious holidays and observances.  I'm not sure if it's a control issue or just how my brain is wired but I like to know every aspect of every possibility when it comes to things in my life.  It's tiring.   I like to think that others are the same way.  When I post a question or a thought online I fully expect people to chime in with their opinions.  Sometimes it's not always a good thing.

Something that I've learned is that everyone needs to have their own journey or experience when it comes to health.  What works for me might not work for you.  It's a lot of trial and error in some aspects.  The basic idea of it is pretty simple math.... expend more energy than you put into your body.  Fuel it with MOSTLY good foods.  Lean meats, fresh vegetables, whole grains.... it isn't rocket science.  I probably follow an 80-20 or 90-10 approach, keeping in mind that ratio could change at any time.  80% of the time I'm eating good shit... 20% it could be questionable.  Any time someone tells you that they have a magic shake, pill, workout or ritual that will make you lose all your belly fat... they're a fucking liar.  Unless it's working out and expending more calories than you put it.... they're lying.  Don't buy whatever they are selling you.  There are no magic beans.... except for maybe chickpeas and those are delicious.

I think what is so off putting to a lot of people are the vast amount of choices about what they should eat.  It's overwhelming.  Everyone has an opinion about what YOU should be eating, what kind of diet you should follow..  It's not about them.... it's about you.  Don't eat gluten, don't eat meat, eat this meal supplement that's made of gel or a protein bar that is really just a glorified candy bar, don't eat after 8pm..... we aren't gremlins eat the fucking snack at 8 if you want.  At least make it a good one and not a half pint of ice cream. Unless you have a specific food allergy to something or a personal reason for not eating something then don't. 

Anytime that you have to spend MASS amounts of time looking for, preparing or convincing your family to eat a special spelt wrap.... it's not worth it.  No one wants to eat food that tastes like shit.  I, for one, have NEVER found any vegan recipe that doesn't taste like absolute dog food.  Don't get all in an uproar vegans... I'm not saying your way of eating is wrong. I'm simply saying that for me it isn't pleasant.  Period.

Find a balance between what's good for you and what you like.  You can't eat perfect all the time.  Who gets to decide what's perfect?  You do!  Find a recipe you like and google ways to make it healthier.  The Internet is this amazing resource if used properly.  If that means a whole wheat wrap instead of a flour one... at least you've made a small step towards a "better" choice.  If you want to work up to lettuce wraps and other random grains... more power to you. I'm content with wheat.

Finally..... in an effort to help you make your healthy food taste better I have one piece of advice:  Befriend your spice rack (or cabinet if you are me).  The secret to making healthy food taste good... spices.  Turmeric, cumin, rosemary, curry, garlic powder, onion powder, peppercorns, paprika, chili powder, cayenne pepper, salt (in moderation and get sea salt for the love of Christ.  Table salt is garbage) cinnamon... PUT THAT SHIT ON FOOD.  Bland food sucks. 

Fajita Seasoning recipe:
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon salt 

1 teaspoon paprika (Mexican is best but I know that not everyone has that)

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder 

1/2 teaspoon cumin

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

 

Sprinkle it on your veggies, onions, chicken while it's cooking.  You know what's in it.  You could omit the salt if you wanted but I like it.  Some people also put a bit of sugar in but I find it unnecessary.   If you like it spicier put more cayenne in... or red pepper flakes.  I LOVE garlic so I'm heavy handed with that and the paprika. 

 

Wait... I'm in my 30's?  When did that happen?

I know this has probably been written by every other thirty something writer but WHEN did 30 sneak up on me?  I remember being a child and waiting, agonizing over the years until I would be able to drive a car or move out of my parents house.  Long gone are those days. The time has came and went in the blink of an eye just like my mother warned me it would. I look back and wonder what I've really accomplished in my 35 years of life.

I tell my son all the time that if he really wants to miss out on the greatest years of his life to make some children in his twenties.  Some people might think this is not the best parenting advice but I beg to disagree. I personally have no desire to be a grandparent in my thirties or really ever. Before the hating starts hear me out.  Your twenties are supposed to be full of exploring, learning, growing and finding out who you are and what you want our of life, yourself and a partner if you choose to have one.  I still firmly believe that twenty somethings do not have the maturity to really know who they are and what they want out of life. You can not successfully raise a child when you don't even know who you are and what you stand for. Stop getting married after 6 months.  It probably will not work out. I can't even commit to a pair of shoes let alone another human for the rest of my life!  I'm allowed to say that because I lived it.

Let's take a moment to reflect on my twenties.  This blog would not be long enough to cover all of the ridiculous choices I made.  Thank God I didn't marry everyone I thought I loved as I would be world record holder for the most divorces to the biggest losers.  I did date some good guys.  One person told me that his family said I just wasn't marriage material.  WHAT?  I didn't even know what that meant.  I knew it really hurt my feelings.  I was lacking in direction, self control and mostly self esteem.  I just admitted that.  I could get all Dr. Phil and shit and try to pinpoint it  back to some issues with childhood or parenting but I won't point fingers.  I made those choices and I live with them.  I made some friends and sadly I lost some friends due to my choices.  I drank a lot and I wish I would have been a better parent to my son during the first years of his life.  Water under the bridge, right?

As a thirty something now people in their twenties annoy the shit out of me.  Needy women whose sole goal in life is to find the love of their life and focusing on nothing else.  Now I realize this is a very vague generalization but it's my opinion.  Take it or leave it.  I really couldn't care less. They complain about how old they look and wrinkles.  REALLY BITCH? Shut up before I get naked and scar you for the rest of your life.  This is what you have to look forward to in your 30's. Women who post their undying  love for someone they met last week on social media.  Next week dragging themselves back into the harsh reality that it just wasn't meant to be followed by posting something vaguely emo and attention seeking about being sad. If you let it go and it comes back it must be yours to keep.  I'm pretty sure that probably means that they realize that you have no self esteem and a job and will probably continue to pay their cell phone bill if they come back to you. You can't polish a turd.  Those same women who proclaim that chivalry is dead and ask where are all the good guys.  SHUT UP, no really please shut up.  Let's put on our big girl panties and get all Sex and the City and woman up.  Maybe you aren't "marriage material", yet.  You claim to hate drama but cause it publicly at every turn.  Live for you and stop trying to find a man to make you happy.  Men this could apply to you as well.  Ahhh... it's like reading a chapter from the book of my life.  Depressing.  Regardless I hate you now twenty somethings.

Here's what you have to look forward to at some point in your thirties.  The weight from one place on your body shifts to another where it doesn't' belong.  Where in the FUCK did all this gray hair come from? It's multiplying like rabbits and I'm able to do nothing but cry in front of the mirror while realizing how wrinkly and tired my eyes look when I cry. Sigh.   I really can't color it fast enough especially with dark hair.  I used to roll my eyes at women who obsessed with staying out of the sun and using moisturizer on their faces.  I didn't need that, I was young!  Well guess what? Now it takes me an extra 5 to 10 minutes just to prep my face to put on the makeup.  Exfoliate, toner, moisturizer, corrector and I've not even started on the meat of the operation yet.  I  have to have a college degree and a high paying job to afford the expensive ass moisturizer and tighteners that I need to put on my face to compete with my annoying 20 year old counterparts.

Lastly we're approaching middle age. MIDDLE AGE?  When did this happen????  I'm thinking about retirement, savings, IRA's, health care plans, what wine to drink with dinner.  WHO AM I?  What happened to all of the amazing plans I had in my 20's?  That's right..... I wasted those years trying to find a man to make me happy and I planned almost nothing else.  Turns out I just needed to find out who I was and make myself happy instead of trying to find someone else to do it for me.  Luckily as a thirty something I think I have it all figured out, maybe.

THE "S" word:  Skinny

These six letters have caused me so much grief though out my life. If you are like me, and a large percentage of the United States is, you are overweight. Whether you are 12 or 90 being overweight sucks, hard. Your "thin" friends complain about how fat they are and it takes every ounce of strength to not shove a double bacon cheeseburger down their throats even though you know that they have their own issues to deal with. Everyone tells you that you have a "pretty face". The thought of having to wear a bathing suit in public is almost enough to make you jump off a cliff. Skinny is TOXIC.

I am a 34 year old regular person living a regular life in rural Ohio. I'm engaged to be married later this year and I have a wonderful 16 year old son. I'm probably not grammatically correct and I'm OK with that. I'm brutally honest and I curse like a sailor. Cursing is the once vice (besides overeating) that I just haven't been able to give up. My house is often a mess despite the absence of small children, if only I had them to blame. I have battled with my weight and eating healthy since the birth of my son in 1998. Yep you read that correctly. I'm still whining about the 65 pounds I gained during pregnancy 16 years ago. GET OVER IT, right?

I hate, no I abhor the word skinny. Every time I hear a woman use the word skinny I want to throat punch her. However, I am the woman I hate. Thank goodness I can't throat punch myself. I'm the woman who just can't be happy with how I look regardless of how much weight I lose. I hold myself to impossible standards. I pretend like I don't mind that I can eat an entire bag of chips in a single sitting knowing full well that I'll be crying about it the next morning. Nothing fits and even my stretch pants are crying out for me to just STOP IT. I can't achieve the desired "thinness". I wonder why?

This is my journey. You're coming in halfway through. I'm hoping that this will help me realize that I don't need to be "skinny" or "thin". Those of you who have never had to battle any addiction, and food IS an addiction, count yourselves lucky. NO I'm not saying that you bitches have no issues and your life is perfect. I'm just saying that when my daily inner struggle starting when I open my eyes in the morning is what can I eat and when, that's a problem.
 

My name is Jenn and I am addicted to food.

I realized that 2 years ago if I didn't change something in my life that I was going to live a craptastic, overweight, miserable life. I was probably going to succumb to the same health issues that plagues a lot of my family. Diabetes. Heart disease. Cancer. I stopped smoking, stopped drinking and started working out, HARDCORE. No surprise that I burnt out.

Over the last 2 years I've lost approximately 40 pounds (60 if you count the 20 I've gained and re lost - loser). I have SLOWLY learned that there is no quick fix for health.  Moderation in portions, choosing GOOD CLEAN things to put into my body and exercising. I've come to love (yeah right) the workouts. I love the feeling of accomplishment that I get when it's over.
 

I hope that you will stop back often to read about my rants, my struggles, my successes and my thoughts about anything that comes to mind. I also hope that I can have the happy ending and realize that I am eating to live not living to eat.